Pregnancy... Not for the faint of heart

WARNING - This post may not be suitable for anyone of the male species and may negatively affect the fertility of single women. Proceed with caution.

So, I'm pregnant with my first child. I'm about 6 months along, and I have a few things to say about the entire pregnancy thing...

First - I do not understand why many women actually enjoy being pregnant. Seriously... What am I missing?

I have all sorts of the standard pregnancy "goodies" but very little I'd consider enjoyable..

• The only pregnancy glow I have comes from the green toxic cloud that inevitably comes from pooping for two.
  
• Hemorrhoids... Like I can even reach my butt these days.
• Race horses? HA! They have nothing on me when I have to pee.
• Every time I visit a bathroom to do a #2, I get a little preview of what labor must be like.
• Chia-pet syndrome - hair growth in the most unusual places
• A Beluga whale has become my twin.
  

I could go on, but I've probably already scared the heck out too many potential great parents.
So - how about I end with some good news?

There is one thing that I absolutely love about pregnancy... Every night as I'm about to fall asleep, my little baby boy perform a riverdance for me.

I think that alone makes all the other stuff bearable.